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Kees mate.

No woman with tatoos the size of submarines. Makes me feel ill when I see all this poisonous ink everywhere.

No rings connecting nostrils.
Must be between 7-9 stone, any heavier will cause me serious back issues.
Must be between 5 and 5ft 6, possibly upto 5ft7 max. (No santas little helpers or statue of liberties)

Must eat with mouth closed.
Must have a full set of teeth.
Must have manners and half decent punctuation.
(A good speller would be ideal)

Must be able to drive the same way I drive (saves arguments)

No shaved headed woman, I don't wanna look like I'm going out with right said fred.

No one night flingers thanks, I'm not a piece of meat.

Oh and a sense of humour would be ideal!!!

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